The Love They Have
by Kat-of-the-Streets
Summary: How other family members see Robert and Cora. Series 5 Spoilers. Please let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

_Violet_

_._

_._

You remember your husband telling your only son that he needs to marry a woman with a lot of money. And soon.

You remember watching your only son looking for a wife when he had just turned 18.

You remember watching him struggle.

You remember him saying that he did not want to marry 'some shrew like Cousin Susan'.

You remember seeing him dance with THAT AMERICAN.

.

.

An American you thought. The worst possible choice.

You fought with your son about her. "An American?" you asked.

"She's got the money we need. And she is not a shrew," he said.

You met her and found her wanting. She was nice and good looking.

But she was not a future Countess.

And then you watched your son make her one.

.

.

You thought she was in love with him when they returned from their honeymoon.

If you think about it, you are pretty sure that she was in love with your son before the wedding.

Pretty sure. That's her influence.

You watched her struggle with it all. With being a lady.

And you made it as hard for her as possible. You hated that American who destroyed your son's life.

And then you saw him lose his footing.

.

.

You knew he was about to fall when he yelled at you for being unfair to her.

You knew he had fallen when you saw him dance with her at a ball given by your best friend.

He held her too closely.

Far too closely.

And then he led her of the dance floor holding her hand.

And instead of making you happy, it made you jealous.

.

.

You have been taking care of like that only once.

And not by your husband.

And so you turned even more against her. And thereby against your son.

You watched them have their first daughter.

And their second daughter.

And their third daughter.

.

.

There was no son.

And still your son loved his wife. And daughters.

And you fell for each of those girls in turn.

And your husband kept nagging for a boy.

And so did you. Although you thought those girls were perfect.

"I couldn't be happier. I love my daughters. And my wife," your son used to say. And you believed it.

.

.

You watched your son's wife when he went to war. And you watched her take care of your granddaughters.

You watched your youngest granddaughter almost forget her father.

And her mother trying to keep him alive in her memories.

You watched your daughter-in-law and her girls suffer for two years.

And you suffered too. And so did your husband. Although he did not say so.

And then your son came back. And was blissfully happy. For two months.

.

.

And then your husband died.

And it made your son the earl.

And that American wife of his a countess.

The Countess of Grantham, an American.

You watched them struggle with their new roles.

And you watched them succeed. And it made you proud of them. Both of them.

.

.

You watched them fight.

Against the sorrows of losing James and Patrick. And their only son.

Against the sorrows of the war.

Against near betrayal in their marriage.

Against the sorrows of losing their youngest daughter.

Against the sorrows of losing a very beloved son-in-law.

.

.

You watched them become whole again.

Turn their marriage into the happiness it once was again.

You watched them become even more affectionate.

Kissing in the entrance hall to greet each other.

Holding hands in the drawing room.

They were blissfully happy. And you weren't jealous anymore. You were happy for them. For both of them.

.

.

And you cannot believe it when you see them fall apart again.

You think it is your son's fault. You want to smack that boy on the back of his head.

Especially when you meet Prince Kuragin. And rethink your own marriage.

You want to tell your daughter-in-law off for flirting with that art dealer.

He obviously is far more interested in the countess than in the family's art.

But you can't. You know what being neglected by your husband means. So you try to tell your son.

.

.

And he does not listen.

He keeps ignoring his wife. After 34 years of a happy marriage.

He takes her for granted and you know what being taken for granted feels like.

And your daughter-in-law does not deserve that.

You know they fight. You hear it and you feel it.

Mary complains about her parents. And Edith whines. And Tom looks as if he couldn't believe it.

.

.

You cannot believe it when your son confesses to you how he injured his hand.

And secretly you are proud of him. For having beaten that man.

And having fought for his wife.

But contrary to what you believe, he isn't sure that Cora really did not want that Bricker in her room.

And so you watch as he keeps ignoring her.

And so you watch as he hurts her more each day.

.

.

Your granddaughters tell you that it seems to be getting better. A little every day.

And you hope that it is true.

You stay with them at their house in London and you can't help but overhear.

You can't help but overhear your son telling his wife why he wants to sell that dreadful painting.

And then you see her smile at him, smile a smile full of love and devotion.

And you know that they are deeply in love and very happy. And it makes you wonder.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for the wonderful reviews on the first chapter!

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><p><em>Mary<em>

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You think you had a happy childhood.

Of course you had nannies and governesses.

But you also had your parents.

A complete set of parents.

Something your niece does not have.

And neither does your son.

.

.

You remember your parents taking you on picnics.

You remember having nightmares and going to your mother's room.

You remember finding your father there too.

Every time you went there.

You thought that was normal.

Until your cousin Annabelle told you otherwise.

.

.

You vaguely remember your father being in South Africa. But your mother and grandmother made it bearable.

You remember your father returning home and ten happy years after that.

You remember being embarrassed by your parents.

By them holding hands when taking walks.

By them kissing each other as a form of greeting.

Until you stay with Cousin Annabelle. And her parents Susan and Shrimpie.

.

.

The first time you remember your parents being hit by something is the death of your cousins James and Patrick.

But they got through it. Together.

You think the sinking of the unsinkable ship started all the troubles.

When your baby brother died, you thought that it would break your parents.

But instead it broke Matthew and you.

And then the war began.

.

.

You saw your parents fall apart over stupid stuff.

And it made you lose your faith in love.

And so you decided to take Richard Carlisle. Although you were still in love with Matthew.

You saw your father flirt with the maid.

And you hoped your mother didn't.

It scared you death when your mother almost died. And it made you happy beyond believe when it made your parents reconcile.

.

.

And it restored your faith in love.

You kept Richard at arm's length.

Because you thought, you hoped, you wished that a miracle would happen.

Your father fell for your mother.

You hoped that Matthew would fall for you. A second time.

And then Matthew proposed.

.

.

You were happy.

So very happy.

Even when your sister's death almost broke you in two, you were still happy with Matthew.

You will never forget how he looked at you when you finally told him that you were pregnant.

He took such good care of you and it made you fall for him more every single day.

And then your son was born. And a few hours later your husband was dead.

.

.

You remember your father struggling to tell you about Matthew's death.

And your mother taking his hand and how that had made it easier for him.

In that moment you hated your parents for the love they still had.

But over time, their love became a safety net for you.

You knew that whatever happened they would be there for you.

Together.

.

.

And then that art dealer came into your mother's life. Introduced to her by Charles Blake of all people.

You thought that your mother was playing with fire, but so was your father by ignoring her.

You thought, you hoped, you wished that it would not break them.

You knew that it had broken them when your father stopped talking to your mother. And it scared you and made you want to cry.

You did cry. Secretly, all alone in your own room.

While clutching a picture of Matthew and you. A picture taken on your wedding day.

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You tried to forget it all, to gloss it all over by playing with Tony and Mabel.

Because that is what you did. And it made you feel dreadful.

But not as dreadful as thinking about your parents did.

You saw the tears in your father's eyes when he said that his beloved dog was about to die.

And then you saw him look at your mother. And you saw her looking back at him.

You saw how in that moment your mother anchored your father's world. And you believed in love again.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the reviews on the other chapters!

I won't have any internet access for about the next one and a half weeks, so this is the last update for quite some time. Maybe, but just maybe, I'll post a new oneshot tonight as well, but I don't know if I'll get to it as I haven't finished it yet.

For those of you who celebrate it: Have a nice First Advent!

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><p>Edith<p>

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You have struggled with love all your life.

First there was Patrick who was for more interested in Mary.

Then there was Matthew who really loved Mary.

Then there was Anthony, who loved you too much to marry you.

And there was Michael.

And now there is Marigold.

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You always wanted what your parents have.

Just as your sisters did.

But opposed to your sisters, you never found it.

You could have had it with Michael, you are sure of it.

But he was married.

You even envy Mary having a grave to go to.

.

.

Because you know that she goes there quite often.

Very early in the morning or very late in the evening.

You once followed her. You thought she was meeting a lover. You wanted to expose her.

Instead you saw her at her husband's headstone. Crying her heart out.

It broke your heart.

When she left the graveyard she walked passed Sybil's grave and slightly touched her headstone. And it broke your heart even more.

.

.

You never were privy to your parents' problems.

When Mary told you that she was afraid that your father thought about taking another woman to bed, you were more than surprised.

And you hated Mary for the suggestion.

And then you saw your father with that maid.

And you hoped that your mother did not see it.

A few days after your mother almost died, after Lavinia did die, you wanted to ask your mother something and went to her room. You found her there, asleep in your father's arms.

.

.

Your heart exploded with joy. And with jealousy.

And when your sister, your younger sister, wrote to you about how happy she was with Tom, it was hard for you to be happy for her. And not hate her.

You hated Mary when she announced her engagement to Matthew.

Your hatred was stronger for the fact of Anthony sending you away.

Although he called you lovely.

In the wake of Mary's wedding you coaxed him into agreeing to marry you.

.

.

And then he left you at the altar.

A few weeks later your younger sister died. You would have needed him then.

Like Mary needed Matthew. And like you parents needed each other.

And then you realized that your parents fell apart over their youngest daughter's death.

It scared you to death.

And then, one day, you saw them walking back from your granny's house holding hands. Whatever your granny said to them or did, you have never been so thankful.

.

.

Until the day your granny found out about your pregnancy.

You explained to her that you loved Michael so very much and that it was his child you were carrying.

Your granny paid for yours and your aunt's stay in Switzerland and did not breathe a word.

And then you had to leave that child behind.

And couldn't.

But you couldn't have her live with someone else either.

.

.

Again it was Mary who told you that she thought there was something wrong between your parents.

You dismissed it as being Mary's way to create drama. But you did whine about it to your granny.

When you told your mother you did not want your father to know about Marigold, she wanted to tell him. A clear sign that everything was alright.

You brought your little girl home.

And your mother convinced your father that it was a good idea. Another clear sign.

You want to thank your mother for her help and so you go to her room. You find her there, asleep in your father's arms. Nothing is wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

Tom

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You have always been motivated by love.

Love for cars and driving brought you to Downton before the war.

Love for Ireland made you want to go back home.

Love for Sybil made you stay until she said 'yes'.

And return to Downton.

Love for Sybbie made you stay.

.

.

You remember coming to Downton.

You thought the Earl was nice.

That his wife was nice and that their daughters were nice too.

Especially the youngest one.

A bit of a free spirit.

And you fell for her.

.

.

While you were waiting for her to finally say 'yes' you watched a love story unfurl.

That of Mary and Matthew.

The lady and the future earl.

You thought they were perfect for each other when you saw them together for the first time.

You sometimes wish you had had the courage to tell them what you thought.

To tell them they should not let themselves be torn apart.

.

.

But of course you didn't.

You were a servant.

And while you were serving the family, you watched another love story.

One that did not have to unfurl because it must have been going on for decades.

The Earl and his Countess.

You have been privy to very private moments between them and you wanted a love like theirs. And you found it in their youngest daughter.

.

.

When Sybil died, a part of you died too.

Another part only wanted the best for Sybbie.

And the third part, if only a tiny one, hoped that your parents-in-law would not lose themselves over their youngest daughter's death.

Your wife's death.

They came back to life.

And so did you. Eventually.

.

.

When your best friend died, your heart broke again.

For your own sorrow.

But much, much more so for Mary.

You wanted to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright.

But you couldn't.

Because you knew it wouldn't.

.

.

You watched her parents worry over her.

And fight about how to help her.

You wanted to help her too.

And you think you did.

Your father-in-law once thanked you for it.

And so did his wife.

.

.

You cannot believe it when you see them fall apart.

Over something as stupid as an art dealer.

The family has gone through enough heartbreak you think.

You think about telling Robert not to ignore Cora so much.

But you don't dare to.

You are afraid of his reaction.

.

.

You think about telling Cora to stop flirting with that art dealer.

To tell her how it makes Robert feel.

But Mary tells you not to.

Because she thinks it will lead to even more trouble.

But you think that more trouble could hardly be possible.

But you let them be. Because Mary said so.

.

.

They don't talk to each other anymore.

And that breaks your heart more than you thought it would.

And then, without there having been any signs the day before, they suddenly talk again.

Quite normally and friendly.

A week later she anchors his world when his dog dies.

Another week later, when you all are in London, they are deeply in love again. And it mends your broken heart. At least a bit.


	5. Chapter 5

You have always liked your cousin Robert very much.

Well, he is not really _your _cousin.

He is your _wife's_ cousin.

Only about a year after you had met, you were afraid that he was making your mistake.

That he would marry for all the wrong reasons.

Just like you.

.

.

You tried to talk him out of it.

"Don't marry for money. Marry for love," you said.

"I have to save the estate," he said.

"And she is not a shrew. I can live with her. I think."

You knew what he meant.

And you hoped that he was right.

.

.

When you met Robert's wife on his wedding day you knew.

You knew that his marriage would be much happier than yours.

His countess-to-be impressed you.

She was nice.

She was sweet.

And once you saw her and Robert together, you knew that she'd do everything to make their marriage a happy one.

.

.

And then your own wife fell pregnant.

The child, your daughter Annabelle, brought you and your wife closer.

Because you both loved her very much.

Annabelle was joined by James only a little over a year later.

And for a while you thought that maybe you actually were happy.

Until you spent Easter with the Crawleys.

.

.

Cora had just given birth to a baby girl.

A girl Robert loved just as much as you loved your two children.

A girl Cora loved at least as much as Susan loved your two children.

Cora was different with Mary.

She held her more than Susan held your children.

But you supposed that she was just less traditional, more American.

.

.

And then you saw them together.

Robert and Cora and their little girl.

They looked so happy.

They were outside, walking, Robert carrying the little girl and Cora holding on to him.

You saw them laugh.

And then you saw them kiss.

.

.

And then you knew that they had found real love in their marriage.

You did not find anything in your marriage.

But you soldiered on.

You thought that at least Susan and you could be content.

And Susan seemed to think the same.

She still let you come to her at night. From time to time.

.

.

And you did have another child.

Another girl. Rose. Born ten years after James.

Looking back, you think that your marriage would have broken 10 years earlier than it did if it hadn't been for Rose.

But you both adored the little girl neither one of you expected to have.

You still weren't happy, but you both loved the same children and that had to be something.

And you had an official post. You had everything you ever wanted. Or almost everything.

.

.

The only times you ever felt a twinge of regret was when you saw Robert and his wife.

When you saw that marriage that had been based on money but turned into a true love match.

And although they never had a boy, it was obvious that they couldn't be any happier.

Annabelle once told you that Mary had said that her parents shared a bed every night.

You couldn't believe it. And asked Robert. Who said that it was true. And that it made him very happy.

You suggested the same to Susan who laughed at you for your stupidity and said "you know there is no love lost between us".

.

.

You think that was the moment you began to fall apart.

But it took a few years.

Only after Annabelle and James had left and after Rose had turned into a rebellious teenager did you realize that you did not like Susan. Not at all.

It broke your heart when you heard that Robert and Cora's youngest daughter has died.

But when you saw them a year later they seemed as happy and in love as ever.

And you sent Rose to live with them. Because you wanted her to learn what love is.

.

.

And that she seems to have learned. You see it in her letters.

The letters become less provoking.

You know she has learned what love is when she asks you to accept whichever man she would chose.

And of course you give in.

Because you lover her.

And you want her to have a much better marriage than you had.

.

.

You know she will because Robert and Cora have shown her that a marriage can be happy.

That it can be a good thing.

But when you visit, to talk to them and to Rose about your divorce, you think that something is wrong between them.

You can't help but ask Rose who tells you something about an art dealer.

"But don't worry. They are on the mending path," your daughter says quite confidently.

You hope that her confidence is justified.

.

.

You know it was justified when you meet them in London for your youngest daughter's wedding.

Not only have they organized a perfect wedding for your daughter.

They really seem to have mended their broken fences.

And obviously not lied to you about Atticus.

They both praised him and said that they were sure that he would be very good to Rose.

Once you've met him you know it is true.

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.

Your daughter will have a marriage filled with love.

While you are at the end of a marriage that has been dictated by dislike and maybe even hate for a decade now.

When you find out what your wife did, what she tried to do to your lovely, wonderful daughter, you want to kill her.

But of course you don't.

You wait for her in her room and the absurdity of the situation almost makes you puke.

You haven't waited for her for years.

.

.

And now you threaten her. With exposure.

You fight. Again.

You just want to be rid of her, to never see her again.

On your way to bed you walk past Cora's room and you hear voices in there.

You hear Cora say something Robert give a chuckle.

You know that he was right. He found a woman he could live with. He can live with her because he loves her. And she loves him too. It's as easy as that.


	6. Chapter 6

Susan

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.

You hate Cora.

You have always hated her.

Not always.

Not right from the start.

Because when you met, she was an American simpleton who married a future earl because he needed her money.

You were a refined young lady, married to a future Marquis. A man who married you because of your family background and social standing.

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.

You felt very superior to her.

That upstart American.

Until you saw her and your cousin and their daughter for the first time.

Because what you saw was love.

Their marriage wasn't about an estate or money or a title.

It was about love.

.

.

And your marriage was not.

You loved your children.

And so did your husband.

You tried to like him for that.

But you couldn't.

Because he could never give you what you craved.

.

.

He tried.

You have to give him that.

He even suggested sharing a room every night.

You thought it was stupid.

And you told him that there was no love lost between you.

For a while you thought you were content. But you never were.

.

.

Every time you see your cousin and his American wife you know what you are missing.

A man who trusts you.

A man who respects you.

A man who sees more in you than a necessary accessory.

A man who actually wants to be with you.

A man who comes to you at night because he desires you. And not because he has a duty to fulfill.

.

.

You hoped that the deaths of their youngest daughter and their son-in-law would break them.

But it appears to have brought them closer together.

Rose gushes about them in every letter.

You wish you hadn't allowed her to stay with them.

Because they give to her what you and Shrimpie have never been able to give to her.

Their fairy-tale marriage.

.

.

Of course it puts ideas into your daughter's head.

She wants to marry for love now.

A Jew of all people.

The only worse choice would have been a black man.

When you tell your husband that you hate Jews he asks you whether you hate Cora.

You hate her, of course you do. Although not for having had a Jewish father.

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When you meet your little girl again, she is not the person you left behind.

She has changed.

She knows what she wants.

And she found it.

And you do everything to destroy it.

Everything in your power.

.

.

The looks that your cousin throws his wife make you want to puke.

After more than 34 years of marriage he can't be in love with that American anymore.

But he clearly is.

One night you get up in search of a drink or two.

When you go upstairs again you are too drunk to find your own room.

So you just open a random door.

.

.

What you see makes you want to scream and you shut the door as fast as possible.

Apparently Rose did not lie when she wrote to you about Robert and Cora sharing a bed.

Although right now they are doing so much more.

Something you and Shrimpie haven't done in a decade.

Or maybe something you have never done, because you are sure that what you just glimpsed was an act of love.

And you hate Cora for it. You hate her for having found a love like that.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for all the reviews I got for this story so far! I am sorry that I did not write an answer to all of you, but right things are just a little chaotic.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Kat

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><p>Rosamund<p>

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You love your little brother.

Although if he knew you are still thinking of him as your little brother, he'd probably try to strangle you.

He is the Earl of Grantham after all.

But to you he sometimes still is the small boy who went on your nerves every single day.

And whom you missed every single day you did not spent together.

You still miss him rather a lot from time to time.

.

.

You remember your father telling him to find a rich wife.

He was 18.

And as the dutiful son that he was he only said "Yes, Papa".

But you remember him coming to your room that night.

And telling you that he had no idea how to find a suitable wife.

Because he did not want to marry "some shrew like Cousin Susan".

.

.

That you understood very well.

And so you offered your help.

You told him you'd scan the heiresses for him.

You found them wanting.

Too dumb. Too dull. Too old.

Until you met her. That American.

.

.

She was only a year older than your brother.

And she wasn't dumb or dull.

She was a breath of fresh air.

She was something different. Exotic. Exciting.

And so you introduced them.

You remember watching them dance for the first time.

.

.

You remember thinking "that's how the story begins," while you watched them.

You had never seen your brother look at any woman like that.

Not even that horrible Lady Elizabeth he fancied himself in love with.

Although he never mentioned her again after his first dance with Cora.

Your mother of course was furious.

But your father was pleased.

.

.

You remember watching your brother getting married.

You remember the look on his face when he watched his future wife walking towards him.

In that moment you knew that he would fall in love with her.

And you knew she already was in love with him.

It took your brother some time to realize that he had actually fallen in love with his wife.

But when he did he made himself and his wife very, very happy.

.

.

You wanted that too.

And you thought you had found it.

In Marmaduke Painswick.

Not exactly whom your parents would have picked for you.

But you had your brother's support.

And that of his wife.

.

.

You were happy for a time.

The lack of children did not really bother you.

You had your nieces and children were much easier to handle when you could pass them off to their parents at any given time.

And then the Boer War began.

Robert left his wife and three daughters behind.

Marmaduke only left you behind.

.

.

Your brother returned.

Your husband did not.

You mourned him.

And you missed him.

You still miss him.

To this day you have not fallen in love again.

.

.

You watched your brother and his wife struggle with being an Earl and Countess.

And you watched them succeed.

No matter what stones are thrown in their way.

The deaths of heirs. First James and Patrick, nine years later Matthew.

The death of their youngest daughter.

The near loss of the estate.

.

.

But nothing seems to be able to break them.

Mary once told you about a maid her father seemed to fancy.

But nothing ever happened.

And why should anything have happened?

Your brother loves his darling wife.

He mentions her in every letter he writes to you. In fact he mentions her in every second sentence.

.

.

You love spending time with them.

But you hardly ever do.

Because you do not enjoy spending time with your mother.

And visiting your brother and his wife means visiting your mother.

You have no idea how Cora can stand it.

Although she says that she got used to it.

.

.

Your heart melts when your brother follows her to London to 'take her to dinner and dancing because she deserves a treat'.

And your heart breaks when you hear him yell at her for not having come home.

For having spent the evening with another man.

When he essentially calls her stupid and tells her that that Bricker fellow is only interested in taking her to bed, you want to shake him and tell him to stop it right there.

And to take her dancing.

It is not too late for that. Although he says it is.

.

.

Mary and Edith keep telling you about their parents' troubles. It breaks both their hearts.

And it breaks your heart too.

You wish there was something you could do.

But you can't.

You think about talking to Cora, about telling her to take it easy on Robert.

But you don't dare to because you have been going behind her back for almost two years now.

.

.

When Edith runs away and your mother summons you to Downton you are scared.

Scared of what your brother and Cora will say to you.

Scared that they will blame you. And hate you.

But you are even more scared of the state you will find their marriage in.

And you are relieved beyond words when they seem to be on the mending path.

Not quite alright again, but almost there.

.

.

You try to explain to Cora why you did not tell her about her third grandchild.

The hurt you see in her eyes is something you did not expect.

She is hurt by you and your mother.

But she seems to be even more hurt by the fact that she missed the first 18 months of her youngest grandchild's life.

You wish you had broken your word.

Because when you see the hurt in Cora's eyes, you know that both she and Robert would have helped.

.

.

After you leave the tea room, Cora tells you that she does not like not telling Robert.

You agree with her.

You think it is too dangerous, that he might find out regardless.

And Cora tells you that that is not it.

She tells you she does not want to break his trust.

"I hate going behind his back," she says and there are tears in her eyes.

.

.

You aren't in London for Rose's wedding, but you visit Robert and Cora a few weeks later.

And what you see melts your heart.

They are in the nursery with all three of their grandchildren.

Cora is sitting in a rocking chair, both Sybbie and George on her lap, and she is reading to them.

Robert is sitting in front of her, cross-legged on the floor, Marigold nestled against him.

You know that he knows and that they are happy, so very happy.

.

.

And it makes your heart ache with longing.

Cora looks up at you, smiles, and motions for you to join them.

You carefully walk into the nursery and sit down on the bed.

"George, you go, sit with Aunt Rosamund," Cora says and the boy listens.

He walks over to you and without asking climbs onto your lap and gives you a kiss on the cheek.

Your little brother first grins at you and then at his wife and you wish that time would stand still.


	8. Chapter 8

I am not too sure about this chapter, but I hope it is alright.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Kat

* * *

><p>Rose<p>

.

.

You remember staying with your Cousins Mary, Edith and Sybil.

You were very little then.

They usually came to visit you because your mother hated travelling.

You always admired them.

They always seemed like grown-up ladies to you.

So refined. And so happy.

.

.

When you stayed with them, you felt happy too.

There was a lot less fighting in their house.

Of course they fought each other.

But hardly ever with their parents.

And their parents never fought each other.

You don't think you have ever heard and unkind word exchanged between them.

.

.

When you got older, you understood what was different.

Their parents did not hate each other.

And so they did not use their children as a weapon to hurt each other.

Of course your father never did that to you.

But your mother did it all the same.

And when you were twelve you began to think 'Cousin Cora would not do that to me".

.

.

Your mother became unbearable.

And the stricter your mother was with you the more indulgent your father became.

And you loved him for it.

He was always on your side.

He let you get away with things he shouldn't have let you get away with.

But you enjoyed it all the same.

.

.

You began an affair with a married man.

And when your mother found out you were sent to stay with Aunt Violet.

An old bat living in the country.

But she also is the mother of Cousin Robert.

And the grandmother of your cousins Mary, Edith and Sybil.

And when you got there, you were reminded that Sybil had died.

.

.

All your cousins seemed a little subdued, but they were clearly on the mending path.

And that played right into your hands.

You accompanied them to London.

To meet your man.

And then you were rescued by Matthew Crawley.

The defender of the downtrodden.

.

.

A little less than a year later the defender of the downtrodden was dead.

And it broke your heart.

But the family did not revoke their invitation for you stay with them.

Your Cousin Cora was to bring you out.

Which was much better than staying in Bombay with your constantly fighting parents.

When you arrived at their house, you began to see what real love is.

.

.

Mary was still mourning Matthew, which was not a surprise.

Cora, Robert, Tom and Violet were fighting about her.

They were fighting about what was best for her.

Because they all love her.

In the end, she was persuaded to return to the land of the living.

Even if she did things her father did not like, you saw the relief and pride in his eyes when she began to laugh again.

.

.

You see what love among siblings is, even if Mary and Edith constantly are at each other's throats.

And Tom isn't their real brother.

He used to be their chauffeur.

But they are on his side.

And he is on theirs.

The whole family is on the same side.

.

.

And without realizing it, you become one of them.

There are several reasons why you invited that band to your Cousin Robert's birthday.

You want to meet Jack Ross again.

You want to have a fun night of dancing.

And you want to give the family a treat, as a thank you for treating you as one of their own.

You want that kind of family.

.

.

You watch Robert and Cora who have become surrogate parents dance with each other.

You have never seen anything like it.

They dance much closer than they should.

They are clearly lost in their own world.

They actually want to dance with each other.

Your parents hate dancing with each other.

.

.

You only realize how much they love each other when Robert is in America.

Cora seems lost without him.

As if there was something missing. Something that she could not live without.

And that is what makes you not hate Mary when she causes your engagement to Jack Ross to fall to pieces.

Because you would have married him for all the wrong reasons.

You wanted to shock your mother. You wanted to crush her. But you did not love him.

.

.

You see Robert and Cora kiss in public.

In front of the whole village.

You don't think that your parents have ever kissed each other.

And the letters they send you become more and more worrying.

But Mary tells you that it might be better if your parents separated.

You tell her that you think that she is very lucky regarding her parents. She smiles and says 'I know'.

.

.

Your world almost falls to pieces when you see Robert and Cora fall apart.

You had been sure, so sure, that it would not happen to them.

And it happens right when your parents write to you about their impending divorce.

And then you meet Atticus.

Who takes your breath away.

And makes you forget about everything else.

.

.

But you notice a change.

Slowly but surely you think that the love between Robert and Cora comes back alive.

When you tell Cora how exactly you feel for Atticus she laughs out loud. And wishes you all the best.

The day before your wedding she gives you advice. "Fight only if necessary. And only to save the love you have."

You ask her whether that really works and she says yes.

When you hear an old lady insult Atticus knowingly and Cora and her father unknowingly and you see the look that Robert and Cora give each other afterwards, you know that it works. You can always safe a marriage that runs on love.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: The very last part does not fit in with the Christmas Special, but it was such a minor detail that I decided to not change it.

Thanks for all the reviews!

Kat

* * *

><p>Simon Bricker<p>

.

.

You expect a rather boring dinner party when Charles Blake asks you to join him at Downton Abbey.

The only reason you go is because he mentioned a number of paintings.

Including a painting by Della Francesca.

What he did not mention was the Countess of Grantham.

Or rather, the many qualities of that woman.

Or how much her husband ignored her.

.

.

The Della Francesca is not the best you have ever seen.

But you feign interest.

Interest in the family's art.

To be fair, the family does own a few interesting pieces.

And the Countess knows more about them than most other ladies of her station would.

But what you are really interested in is her.

.

.

You'd never break apart a working happy marriage.

But the marriage of the Earl and Countess of Grantham is neither working nor happy.

It is obvious that it is a marriage based on money.

And that there has never been any love.

Maybe there once was some affection.

But now all there is is disinterest on his part and resignation on her part.

.

.

You are surprised by the Countess' reluctance.

And by her husband's obvious jealousy.

It does not make sense to you.

Having a lover is not unusual in their social circle.

Having a lover is not unusual in a marriage like theirs.

But they are probably trying to avoid a scandal.

.

.

You know she only held back for propriety's sake when you meet her in London.

She came to meet you.

Without her husband.

She must feel for you what you feel for her.

And that is undeniable love.

The way she smiles at you is unmistakable.

.

.

When she tells you about her past, your heart breaks for her.

That poor woman.

Forced to marry an English lord because her parents wanted to be in 'the first circle in New York'.

You wish you had been there when she first arrived.

You get a glimpse of that young girl when you walk her home.

You ask her to go to dinner with you again. You are sure that she will say yes.

.

.

She kisses you. Almost.

And then she tells you that she won't go out to dinner with you again.

But you know that again, she is only doing this to keep up appearances.

So you don't give up.

You keep going to her home.

Where you keep seeing what a horrible marriage she is stuck in.

.

.

When her husband goes away for the night and you stay the night, you know that this is it.

You know that she has fallen for you.

She would have sent you away otherwise.

So you go to her room in eager anticipation of the night to come.

You are surprised when again she is reluctant.

But she is walking towards you and that must mean that she is about to fall into your arms.

.

.

When the Earl suddenly shows up in her bedroom, you see fear in her eyes.

Fear that you know is justified when he hits you.

You are almost sure that he will hit her too.

You wonder what he thinks gives him the right to act in such a way.

You never believed he went to regimental dinner.

And Cora must have known that it was an excuse for a meeting with a mistress.

.

.

When you are alone in your room, it occurs to you that their daughter seemed to think it normal that the Earl and Countess were playing a 'silly game'.

But maybe they are just very good at keeping things hidden from their daughters.

You hope that the Earl at least understood what you tried to tell him.

That it wasn't Cora's fault.

And that she deserved a much better treatment.

But you highly doubt it. You think about offering an escape route to her.

.

.

When you leave the next morning, you see her watching you.

She looks disappointed but not visibly hurt.

But that does not mean anything.

When you tell Charles Blake he laughs at you.

"How can you try to get Lady Grantham into bed and be surprised by her husband almost killing you?" he asks.

You wonder how many people they have fooled.

.

.

You keep thinking about her.

You want to see her again.

You want to help her.

And then an unexpected opportunity comes your way.

They are selling the Della Francesca.

You are sure she'll be at the auction. And nobody can fault you for going there too.

.

.

You keep scanning the room for her.

And then you see her.

Hidden away in a corner.

She is probably afraid of being seen.

And of her husband's reaction.

And then you see that he is there too.

.

.

Hidden away in the same corner.

You decide to talk to her regardless.

So you purposefully walk towards them.

And then you see that they are holding hands. And you notice how close they are standing to each other.

The painting sells for far more than the estimated price.

When the hammer falls for the third time, you see Cora smile at her husband and him smiling back at her.

.

.

You wonder what game she is playing.

You want to gag when you see that she leans towards him and gives him a kiss on the lips.

He then motions for them to leave. And while they do, you see Cora taking hold of her husband's arm.

It makes her husband give her another smile. And she gives him a brilliant smile in return.

A smile she has never smiled at you.

And you wonder what it means. Because you are sure that it can't be real love. You are sure. Almost.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you for all the lovely reviews on the Bricker chapter!

The only two people that remain in this story are Robert and Cora themselves. I start with Robert, but Cora's chapter will be different, so you won't have to read the same thing twice :)

I hope you all have a great New Year's Eve and a Happy New Year!

Kat

* * *

><p>Robert<p>

.

.

You remember the moment that changed and shaped your life.

It was the moment your father told you that you had to marry for money.

And as the dutiful son that you were, all you said was "Yes, Papa".

But you had no idea how to find the right wife.

Because you did not want to marry some shrew like Cousin Susan.

You didn't ask for happiness. All you wanted was contentment.

.

.

You remember asking your sister for help.

She scanned the heiresses for you.

You know she didn't mind because she hated the woman you thought you were in love with.

You know she didn't mind because she only wanted the best for you.

And she found the best for you.

The only heiress available that season that you knew you could live with for the rest of your life.

.

.

Miss Levinson was different.

Exotic. Exciting.

And neither dumb nor dull.

She did not always behave according to the English rules. But that made her all the more interesting.

Your father was very proud when you told him that she had accepted your proposal.

Your mother was furious.

.

.

When you saw her smile at you on your wedding day it made your stomach clench.

Because you realized that she loved you.

Something you could not return.

Because you did not love her.

You liked her. You enjoyed her company.

But you did not love her.

.

.

She never held it against you.

"I knew what I was doing," she still says today.

She knew why you married her.

You knew why she married you.

Because her parents wanted a titled grandson.

Her falling in love with you was just a by-product of their scheming.

.

.

After you had been married for about seven months, you realized that you weren't content in your marriage.

You were happy.

Although it took you another two months to realize why.

Because you had fallen in love.

You realized that you had fallen in love with your wife.

When you said "I love you," for the first time, she said "We are having a baby".

.

.

Your life was perfect.

You were so very happy, that it sometimes made you wonder whether dark times weren't ahead.

But it did not seem like it.

You had three children within four years.

Three wonderful, lovely girls you both loved with all your heart.

Three wonderful, lovely girls you would never have exchanged for a boy.

.

.

When you were told that it was very likely that Sybil was your last child you were relieved beyond words.

Because your youngest daughter's birth almost killed your wife.

She apologized for not producing an heir.

You told her that was the silliest things that you had ever heard. That you were so very happy with her and your girls that there was nothing you could ever wish for.

And you meant every word of it.

You loved your wife and your daughters and that was all you ever wanted.

.

.

It broke your heart when you went to war in South Africa.

You hated leaving your wife and your daughters.

You missed your girls so much that it hurt.

And you missed your wife even more.

Some of the other men laughed at the display of their pictures on your makeshift desk.

You didn't care. You needed to look at those pictures.

.

.

When you returned you were happy again.

Your girls could not be restrained when you got out of the carriage and ran to you.

It made you cry a little.

All the floodgates opened later that night when you were alone with your wife.

And finally held her in your arms again.

The love you felt for her was deeper than you ever thought possible.

.

.

Two months later your father died.

You became the Earl much earlier than you thought you would.

You struggled with the responsibility.

But Cora kept holding your hand.

Quite literally.

And kept you from stumbling.

.

.

Ten blissfully happy years followed.

You made plans for Mary to marry your heir.

You genuinely liked Patrick.

And you were sure that they'd be happy. They'd learn to love each other.

Just like you and Cora did.

And if Mary married your heir, your darling wife would not have suffer your mother's complaint about the absence of a son anymore.

.

.

But then Patrick and James died.

And for a short while you did the unspeakable.

You wished for a son.

You didn't mention it to Cora.

It would have been so unfair.

And then you met Matthew.

.

.

He was the perfect heir.

And he would have been the perfect husband for Mary.

You thought that he had fallen for her.

He proposed to her.

But she wasn't sure.

And dragged it out when Cora very unexpectedly became pregnant again.

.

.

It made you so happy.

You never thought you were going to have another child.

Very deep down you hoped for a son.

When you found out that it would have been a boy, you couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Although they would have fallen just as much for a girl.

You were worried about your darling wife, but she coped well and you were proud of her.

.

.

And then you forgot about everything else because of the war.

Matthew went to France.

You weren't wanted.

You felt useless and foolish.

Especially so when your wife began to run the convalescent home.

And forgot about you.

.

.

You worried about Matthew and Mary.

Too many things happened for you to grasp.

Matthew being lost and Matthew returning.

Matthew being injured.

Mary becoming engaged to Richard Carlisle.

Sybil wanting to marry the chauffeur.

.

.

And you were left to deal with it without your wife.

Who you stopped to think of as your darling wife.

You missed her.

You felt estranged from her.

You were starving for affection.

And so you kissed the maid and took her to your bedroom.

.

.

You have never been so disgusted by anyone or anything in your life.

When you realized that you had almost taken a maid into your bed the night your wife almost died you threw up.

And yet you kissed that maid again.

Even though you had promised your wife that the two of you were alright.

You threw up again.

And then swore to yourself to always, always make your darling wife happy.

.

.

The holidays brought with them the news of Sybil's pregnancy and Mary's engagement to Matthew.

You planned for a wedding as lavish as possible.

And then you found out that you had lost the family's fortune.

Cora's fortune.

You were afraid of telling the family. Of your girls and Matthew being mad at you.

But you were much more afraid Cora's disappointment.

.

.

But when you told her, she comforted you.

She held you and told you that she loved you.

And she let you hold her.

And make love to her.

And she made love to you too.

At the end of the night you felt much better. Because you were sure of her love.

.

.

When Matthew saved the estate, you were blissfully happy again.

But it didn't last long.

Because your youngest daughter died.

And your wife blamed you.

And this stood between you for quite some time.

But your marriage was saved and the shared grief brought you closer than ever before.

.

.

Tragedy struck again less than a year later when Matthew died too.

It broke your heart.

But at least it did not threaten to break your marriage.

You and Cora fought.

Quite a lot. About how to help Mary best.

But your love remained strong.

.

.

What followed was a very happy year.

You were more in love with Cora than ever.

And she felt the same about you.

You wanted to spend every waking moment with her.

Still you went to America for her.

To safe her brother because she asked you to do so.

.

.

You cannot point your finger to when your marriage changed.

But it must have been after the anniversary.

Maybe it was the fire that broke out that night. Or maybe it was that night in London. You should have taken Cora dancing.

But your pride was hurt and somehow you fell out of touch with your wife.

Whom once again you stopped to think of as your darling wife.

You still loved her, you never stopped, but you didn't care as much anymore.

.

.

Simon Bricker drives you up the wall.

And Cora refuses to see what he wants.

She behaves like a school girl in love.

Maybe she is in love with him.

You start to ignore her.

It's what she deserves.

.

.

When you are at that regimental dinner you can't stop thinking about Simon Bricker being in your house.

And then you realize that it was all your fault.

It was you who drove her to him.

It was you who stopped to listen to her.

It was you who stopped to hold her every night.

It was you who ruined your marriage.

.

.

So disregarding propriety, you leave the dinner early.

You want to surprise Cora.

You hope that she is still awake.

You want to tell her that you are sorry.

And that you love her.

So very much.

.

.

And then you open the door to her, to your room.

And your worst nightmare comes true.

You lose the ability to think.

Bricker's words make you even more furious than you already are.

How dare he tell you how to treat your wife.

And so you beat him into a pulp.

.

.

You cry yourself to sleep that night.

You know that Bricker was only gallant when he said that Cora had not invited him.

There is no doubt about it that it had all been planned.

She let Bricker into her private life.

And let him take the place of her husband.

And discarded you.

.

.

You brush of her silly attempts at pretending you are alright.

Because you are not.

When she tries to talk you into sleeping in her bed again, you refuse.

Until you remember Jane.

And so you do as Cora asked.

But you don't talk to her and you don't touch her.

.

.

Until a few nights later when you are both a little drunk.

You are both starving for affection.

And physical love.

So you just give in to her.

If you have to sleep next to her you might just as well sleep with her.

When she clings to you afterwards and silent tears are rolling down her cheeks, you don't have the heart to turn away.

.

.

You want to tell her that not everything is alright. But you never get to it.

Rose wants to marry Atticus.

Mary does not want to marry Tony Gillingham or Charles Blake.

Isobel wants to marry Dickie Merton.

Edith runs off and then returns and wants to adopt a child.

And Isis dies.

.

.

It is all too much for you to deal with alone.

And so without realizing what you are doing, you let your wife back into your heart.

You keep starring at that Della Francesca painting.

It drives you mad.

It drives you mad because you should have trusted your wife.

You should have trusted your darling wife.

.

.

When you tell her why you want to sell the painting she smiles at you.

It is a smile that makes your stomach clench.

You love her so much.

She falls asleep in your arms that night.

You stay awake for hours, thinking about how lucky you are.

And you decide to never let go of her again. Never.


	11. Chapter 11

Happy New Year, everyone!  
>I hope you all had a great New Year's Eve and that your hang-overs aren't too bad :)<p>

Thanks for all the reviews.

This is the last chapter, please let me know what you think.

Kat

* * *

><p>Cora<p>

.

.

You watch in disbelieve when your cousin Susan tries to ruin her daughter's wedding.

You would never do anything like that.

You love your daughters with all your heart.

You want them happy.

You don't care who the men they marry are as long as they are nice and make your girls happy.

You feel the same about Rose.

.

.

Rose and Atticus leave for their wedding journey.

And leave you with Susan and Shrimpie.

The way Susan talks to Shrimpie makes you want to throttle her.

Even if their marriage has never been based on love, that is no way to treat your husband.

You feel your own husband touch your cheek very lightly.

"Let's go to bed, darling," he says when you look at him.

.

.

You take his hand and let him lead you to your room.

You don't bother ringing for your maid.

You feel your husband's arms around you and his lips on yours.

And for a moment you think about what the two of you have been through.

How much pain and heartbreak.

And how much your lives have been shaped by the love between you.

.

.

You remember your wedding day.

Your mother thought you were making a mistake.

Of course she wanted you to marry an English Lord.

But she did not want you to end up in a one-sided love affair.

But you didn't care.

Deep down in your heart you knew that Robert would eventually fall for you.

.

.

It happened much sooner than you thought it would.

After nine months of marriage he told you that he loved you.

And you told him that you were having a baby.

He pulled you towards him then.

And kissed you in a way he had never kissed you before.

And kissed you in a way he has kissed you millions of times since then.

.

.

It was the way he kisses you now.

A mixture of love and desire.

Desire based on an all-consuming love.

It is exactly what you feel for him.

And so you let him undress you although the lights are still on.

Seeing each other is part of the intimacy you have created between you.

.

.

It is an intimacy that goes far beyond making love.

You know things about each other that you would never tell another living soul.

You have seen each other at your best and at your worst.

You have fought each other tooth and nail.

About your children.

About your lives.

.

.

You blamed Robert after Sybil's death.

You needed an outlet for your pain.

You needed to hurt someone as much as possible.

And you knew that the person you could hurt the most was him.

Your darling husband who suffered as much as you did.

When your mother-in-law offered you a way to stop the madness, a way back into Robert's arms, you were so very thankful.

.

.

And he forgave you in the blinking of an eye.

In fact, he told you there was nothing to forgive.

Instead he held you and swore his undying love for you.

Just as you had done only months earlier when he lost almost every single penny you brought into the marriage.

You forgave him instantly because you didn't care about the money.

You would live in a shack if it meant living with Robert.

.

.

The way his hands glide over your body now makes you shiver.

He gives a crooked smile at that.

A smile that says that he is enjoying this just as much as you are.

It is a smile you know he has never given to anyone else.

Just as you have never shivered like that under another man's touch.

It is something that only exists between the two of you.

.

.

Of course you've both let flirtations get out of hand.

You've both let it go too far at least once.

You were never really sure whether Robert had ever done anything like that, although you've had a suspicion for a few years.

And when he returned to your bedroom after that whole Simon Bricker episode, you knew.

You knew that being neglected by you had made him let it go too far with someone else.

Just as being neglected by him had made you let it go too far with someone else.

.

.

When he refused to talk to you or touch you for the nights to come, you thought about who it was.

You suppose it was that maid. Jane.

She left while you were so sick.

Right before you stopped neglecting Robert.

You wondered how far he had gone with her. If it was her.

But you didn't dare to ask because you were afraid of the hurt the answer would cause you.

.

.

And then you realized how much you hurt him.

You were stupid. So stupid.

You should not have tried to make Robert jealous.

You should have apologized to him that night in London.

You should have begged him to still take you dancing.

It had not been too late.

.

.

You knew that Robert had never taken another woman to bed the second night you really spent together after the Bricker episode.

The first time you cried yourself to sleep in his arms afterwards and somehow that seems to have brought your marriage back track.

But it had been a tryst induced by alcohol and physical need.

Two nights later it was a different story.

You both gave all you had to give, you poured all your love for each other into what you were doing.

You both cried silent tears afterwards and held onto each other and kept kissing each other.

.

.

He very gently pushes you towards your bed now.

A bed you have shared for almost three and a half decades.

Because that night that Robert told you that he loved you for the first time and that you told him about your first baby, he did not return to his dressing room.

He stayed.

Without you having to ask.

The very few nights that you have spent apart since then because you were cross at each other are among the worst of your life.

.

.

The way he touches you now makes you weak in the knees and you are glad that the bed is right behind you.

Robert chuckles when you pull him down with you.

He knew this was going to happen because you have played this game thousands of times.

It almost makes you cry.

There are so many deep emotions in this.

You say 'I love you' and he halts in his movements, looks into your eyes and then kisses you.

.

.

He doesn't say 'I love you' very often.

But you know he loves you because your darling husband wears his heart on his sleeve.

Even if he thinks that he is so very good at hiding his emotions.

But it is obvious how much he loves your daughters and how very fond he is of Tom.

And how much he loves your grandchildren.

And how much, how very much he loves you.

.

.

You know this is all very unusual.

That you are still the only woman he takes to bed.

That he is still the only man you take to bed.

That you are still sharing this at all.

How much, how truly, how deeply you love each other.

How you both are about to forget the world around you.

.

.

"Cora?" he asks and you sleepily move your head on his shoulder.

"Hm?" you ask because that it all you are able to say right now.

"Let's make sure we will always be this way. Because it would be horrible if we turned into Susan and Shrimpie."

"We won't turn into them," you say and kiss him and he kisses you back.

You know your marriage will never fall to ruins.

Because it is based on and shaped by mutual deep love. Love and only love.


End file.
